My Own Worst Critic (Regrets About "The Competition")
Sometimes I can be my own biggest fan, but also my own harshest critic.
While editing footage from one of the video-shoots, I'll sometimes get a huge smile on my face and think to myself, "Damn, this is really hot!" or "That was brilliant!" Sometimes I even get so turned on that I whip out my dick and jack off when I should be editing
!
Of course for every time that I pat myself on the back for a job well done, there are at least a dozen other times that I find myself cringing and cursing myself for saying or doing something really corny or stupid, or messing up a particular shot, or misinterpreting a model's words or body language, or missing opportunities that could have made a scene ten times hotter.
Occasionally I'll mention these disappointments in the official scene summaries, but I usually try to emphasize the positive aspects of a scene without dwelling too much on the negative. One of my goals in keeping this blog, however, is to give you an honest glimpse behind the scenes of BBA, including the good and the bad, the highs and the lows of my life as an amateur porn producer.
I've already talked about the things that turned me on most about The Competition. But you should know that I've also been giving myself a hard time about the mistakes made while filming that scene as well as the things I'd do differently if I had it to do over. One thing to keep in mind is that I'm usually focused on the camera and angles and technical aspects while filming a scene. It's not until I sit down to edit the footage, sometimes weeks or even months later, that I'm truly able to see what took place in the scene.
Before moving on to the next chapter in D-Rel's "story," I'd like to share a few of my personal regrets about this particular scene.
**SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't yet checked out this scene for yourself, you can click here to join BBA and download the full-length version.**
1) I should have insisted that Suspense take off that silly-looking Adidas cap! He was self-conscious about how his hair looked so I respected his wishes at the time, but it ended up making him look sort of goofy and much less sexy than usual, in my opinion.
2) I really liked the whole "face-off" idea of each boy forced to watch as the other one slowly stripped out of his clothes. But I think it was one of those ideas that is hot in theory but not so successful when actually attempted. I would have liked to see more of their facial expressions throughout that early and especially awkward part of the shoot when they're seeing each other naked for the very first time. But from the angle I shot it, much of that unfortunately gets lost.
3) I wish I'd been more assertive once I got them both in the shower. Of course at the time, I was just ecstatic that I'd talked them into going that far, and I didn't want to push them to do too much, too soon, and risk ruining the rest of the scene. But after watching that scene while editing, I'm certain I could have instructed them to be much more thorough and sensual while soaping each other down. For example, it would have been hot to see them soaping each other's dicks and balls and assholes.
4) I should have taken things one wicked step further and asked the two boys to **cum on each other** near the end of the scene. I think I could have persuaded them to do it, don't you?!? At least on their legs or chests or even asses. Damn, that would have been one hell of a hot climax to the scene!!!
5) I shouldn't have talked so damn much! Love it or hate it, me interacting with the boys will always be a part of my movies. But there are times to talk and times to shut up, and there were too many times during this scene that I should have just kept my damn mouth shut. I'm sure a lot of it was just excitement and nerves on my part (with two black boys as cute as D-Rel and Suspense together in the same room, can you blame me 
?!?). Plus I was sensing the boys' own nervous energy and probably trying to lighten the mood a bit by making little comments or cracking jokes here and there. But in doing so, I ended up talking over too much of the action and spoiling some moments that would have been much more erotic in silence.
6) When I'm finally able to talk them into stroking each other's dicks, Suspense asks if I want them to jack each other's dicks until they cum. I stupidly reply that no, that won't be necessary. I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I said that! I'm sure some of you were cussing at me through your computer screens for that one, and I definitely deserve it!
7) Overall, I will always be tortured by questions of "what if" in regards to this scene. After watching the footage from this scene as many times as I have since first filming it, there's no doubt in my mind that with a little more coaxing I could have talked Suspense and D-Rel into doing much more than they did. **How** much more, I'll probably never know. One "gay" request too many and I could have easily scared D-Rel away for good (and possibly Suspense as well). So maybe dick-sucking or fucking would never have happened regardless of how aggressive I was or how much money I put on the table. But I do think I could have pushed them at least a little bit further. For example, I think I could have taken a cue from "Girls Gone Wild" and talked them into kissing each other - even a brief, awkward peck on the lips would have been something worth seeing
!
See, I told you I can be my own worst critic, LOL! Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
Oh, yeah, another factor to consider when reflecting on what I did and did not do in this scene is the fact that by this point I'd already begun negotions with D-Rel about coming back for a very expensive "gay for pay" scene with me. I knew he was at least considering it, and I didn't want to say or do anything during his video-shoot with Suspense to scare him away for good.
While editing footage from one of the video-shoots, I'll sometimes get a huge smile on my face and think to myself, "Damn, this is really hot!" or "That was brilliant!" Sometimes I even get so turned on that I whip out my dick and jack off when I should be editing
!Of course for every time that I pat myself on the back for a job well done, there are at least a dozen other times that I find myself cringing and cursing myself for saying or doing something really corny or stupid, or messing up a particular shot, or misinterpreting a model's words or body language, or missing opportunities that could have made a scene ten times hotter.
Occasionally I'll mention these disappointments in the official scene summaries, but I usually try to emphasize the positive aspects of a scene without dwelling too much on the negative. One of my goals in keeping this blog, however, is to give you an honest glimpse behind the scenes of BBA, including the good and the bad, the highs and the lows of my life as an amateur porn producer.
I've already talked about the things that turned me on most about The Competition. But you should know that I've also been giving myself a hard time about the mistakes made while filming that scene as well as the things I'd do differently if I had it to do over. One thing to keep in mind is that I'm usually focused on the camera and angles and technical aspects while filming a scene. It's not until I sit down to edit the footage, sometimes weeks or even months later, that I'm truly able to see what took place in the scene.
Before moving on to the next chapter in D-Rel's "story," I'd like to share a few of my personal regrets about this particular scene.
**SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't yet checked out this scene for yourself, you can click here to join BBA and download the full-length version.**
1) I should have insisted that Suspense take off that silly-looking Adidas cap
! He was self-conscious about how his hair looked so I respected his wishes at the time, but it ended up making him look sort of goofy and much less sexy than usual, in my opinion. 2) I really liked the whole "face-off" idea of each boy forced to watch as the other one slowly stripped out of his clothes. But I think it was one of those ideas that is hot in theory but not so successful when actually attempted. I would have liked to see more of their facial expressions throughout that early and especially awkward part of the shoot when they're seeing each other naked for the very first time. But from the angle I shot it, much of that unfortunately gets lost.
3) I wish I'd been more assertive once I got them both in the shower. Of course at the time, I was just ecstatic that I'd talked them into going that far, and I didn't want to push them to do too much, too soon, and risk ruining the rest of the scene. But after watching that scene while editing, I'm certain I could have instructed them to be much more thorough and sensual while soaping each other down. For example, it would have been hot to see them soaping each other's dicks and balls and assholes.
4) I should have taken things one wicked step further and asked the two boys to **cum on each other** near the end of the scene. I think I could have persuaded them to do it, don't you?!? At least on their legs or chests or even asses. Damn, that would have been one hell of a hot climax to the scene!!!
5) I shouldn't have talked so damn much
! Love it or hate it, me interacting with the boys will always be a part of my movies. But there are times to talk and times to shut up, and there were too many times during this scene that I should have just kept my damn mouth shut. I'm sure a lot of it was just excitement and nerves on my part (with two black boys as cute as D-Rel and Suspense together in the same room, can you blame me ?!?). Plus I was sensing the boys' own nervous energy and probably trying to lighten the mood a bit by making little comments or cracking jokes here and there. But in doing so, I ended up talking over too much of the action and spoiling some moments that would have been much more erotic in silence. 6) When I'm finally able to talk them into stroking each other's dicks, Suspense asks if I want them to jack each other's dicks until they cum. I stupidly reply that no, that won't be necessary. I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I said that! I'm sure some of you were cussing at me through your computer screens for that one, and I definitely deserve it!
7) Overall, I will always be tortured by questions of "what if" in regards to this scene. After watching the footage from this scene as many times as I have since first filming it, there's no doubt in my mind that with a little more coaxing I could have talked Suspense and D-Rel into doing much more than they did. **How** much more, I'll probably never know. One "gay" request too many and I could have easily scared D-Rel away for good (and possibly Suspense as well). So maybe dick-sucking or fucking would never have happened regardless of how aggressive I was or how much money I put on the table. But I do think I could have pushed them at least a little bit further. For example, I think I could have taken a cue from "Girls Gone Wild" and talked them into kissing each other - even a brief, awkward peck on the lips would have been something worth seeing
! See, I told you I can be my own worst critic, LOL! Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
Oh, yeah, another factor to consider when reflecting on what I did and did not do in this scene is the fact that by this point I'd already begun negotions with D-Rel about coming back for a very expensive "gay for pay" scene with me. I knew he was at least considering it, and I didn't want to say or do anything during his video-shoot with Suspense to scare him away for good.
Posted by Michael Galletta at Tuesday, October 06, 2009 12:18 PM 
Categories: More About Michael Galletta, Behind the Scenes, More About The Movies
Categories: More About Michael Galletta, Behind the Scenes, More About The Movies
Let me just say this Michael....If more people put in as much time,effort and love as you do the web would be a much better place! I would never get offline! Ps: I'm gonna do some kind of story to go along with those pics of D-Rel and Suspense!
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Thanks for the kind words, Eric! It's nice to know the time and hard work I invest in BBA is appreciated. And I can't wait to see what you come up with for that story
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Michael,
I think you are being a bit too hard on yourself. Overall you are doing an amazing job of finding hot, fresh guys and working with them beautifully. Until the day you become perfect (which hasn't happened to anyone I can think of yet) you will do the best you can do and with more and more experience you will also continue to improve. Making mistakes is part of learning and getting better. I'm sure just thinking of these situations will prevent you from doing the same thing again in the future. I can't speak for everyone but I certainly don't expect everything to happen exactly the way I want it to but your videos sure do come close to getting it just the way I like it. Even with more knowledge and experience each new model will bring new challenges and variable into each video. That is what makes yours so much fun. The fact that there are fumbled and awkward moments makes it that much more real and honestly fresh. It only proves that the guys you are working with are not "pros" but real guys and that makes watching them so much more fun and makes the reality so much closer to true fantasy.
You are doing one hell of a job and I only see you getting better. Don't ever get so good that the videos become like all the other sites with bored "stars" just doing their job.
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Thanks for your wise and encouraging advice, Brian! That totally made my day.
You're absolutely right, it's better to learn from my mistakes and strive to avoid them in the future rather than dwell too much on regrets and fumbled opportunities. Working with non-professional, inexperienced guys in unscripted, unpredictable encounters, there will always be surprises and disappointments and things I wish I'd handled differently. But as you point out, that realness and "uncontrollability" (yeah, I think I just made that word up
Thanks again for your continued encouragement and support! And don't worry, I will do my best to keep things fresh and real and exciting, and I'll trust you and others to let me know if I start turning into just another predictable site starring "porn stars" in routine, assembly-line porn.
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I hear everything u r sayin... dam... if we just cudda seen suspense suk d-rels dik or get fuked by him...mm.. well... we can dream i guess... thats what its all about...please get these 2 guys 2gether with a girl... let them have a 3 way with a girl who can suk dik and moan like crazy.... gay bruthas luv seeing str8 bruthas who luv their sex doin their thing... i know d-rel wouldnt disappoint... do it... do it ...do it !!!! lol.. thanks 4 what u put up
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I like that idea and will at least TRY to make a scene like that happen! Thanks, Tim.
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most definately; I was totally pissed when you told "suspense" NO... you should have let them finish by jerking each other off; and you are right about the cap too. I must say too, that I'd have tried to ask them to do the kissing or even pry each others butt cheeks open... that might have given us a glimpse of who was really trying to see up the others hole. Well, all can't be considered lost if you can get my favourite "D'Rel" to do a penetration scene, I'd love to see somebody [Beno] stuff that pretty hole. Looking much forward to see your new faces and hope that "Reggie" show up again and you get two tops to do him the same day,... a big dick like "Eureka" and/or "Da'Juan". If you have to make it into two separate updates, so be it but, I'd rather love to see a scene with him being fucked by two different big dicks.
Good luck.
DL.
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I like your idea about getting the guys to pry each other's butt cheeks apart. I'll have to keep that one in mind for future video-shoots
I'm still working on getting Reggie back, but he is the most inconsistent and unreliable guy I've ever tried to work with. If he wasn't so damn popular, I would (and SHOULD) have quit trying a long time ago! But I have taken your advice to heart and I'm currently trying to put him in the middle of a threesome, but don't hold your breath, LOL....
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It's so funny how similar things run through our minds at the same times. All those things you say about questioning yourself and being your own worst critic. I can relate. But it's more than that. While we're filming, we don't realize what we say or how what we said happens just as something hot is occurring before you. And when you go to edit, you always wind up questioning yourself or saying things like, "Damn if only I had done this instead of that!" You're always going to question yourself. It's all part of evolving and becoming better than before. Remember that you have built yourself a very loyal fan base and a good niche. Focus on that instead of judging yourself. Or, if you have to think along those lines, try critiquing yourself in a positive way. Rather than I should have done, say next time I think I'll... You'll feel a lot differently about it as you start thinking that way. I think you're coming along beautifully!
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Thanks, Ben, for those encouraging words. They mean a lot coming from another amateur producer who can relate to the frustration and disappointment caused by mistakes and missed opportunities. I appreciate your wise advice to turn my self-criticism into something more positive and constructive. Of course that's always easier said than done, but it's still good advice to keep in mind
Thanks for responding. It's nice to have you back and commenting again!
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You should "live today like it is your last" I think anytime you look back and see the what ifs you will have to ask the questions that push your models to the limit. You cannot be scared to push them away because you can't do too much to keep them once they decide to leave. The goal is to make your videos as entertaining and enjoyable for your viewers as possible particularly with those who identify as str8. The enjoyment of the str8 guys in your scenes are not important because it is not a female. There is a business side to the scenes and if the sr8 guys want to maximize their take home then you as a producer a business man should maximize your product. It is okay to have a heart and accomodate your models but once the filming starts you have an obligation to put a product out there that you would want to buy and that you would want to see so soaping ass, nuts dicks and jacking each other off till ejaculation is a missed opportunity but i think you could have asked them to do more than that. These are straight guys and the extent of their comfortability is not strong no matter how well you host. Cortez, Jay, suspense and drell are part of the resume of your business but do not kid yourself.
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