Author Archive: Michael

The Luckiest White Boy On The Planet

DJ and Joey

Once again, I’m sorry for not blogging at all this past week! I know, I know….I’m starting to sound like some asshole boyfriend who spends weekends getting drunk with his buddies, but then every Monday shows up at his girlfriend’s with flowers and lame excuses.

Things really have been sort of crazy lately….I’ve barely spent any time at my own apartment for the past couple months (I’m actually composing this while away from home). Plus, as I mentioned before, I’ve really been stressing out about this wild roller-coaster-ride of an election season….not to mention the scary economy which will almost certainly have an effect on the amateur porn business.

I haven’t had much free time to devote to filming or blogging lately. I did have a video-shoot scheduled last Friday night with this sexy young thug whose looks rival those of my best-looking models so far, but the kid ended up being a no-call/no-show, and I haven’t heard from him since. I’m thinking he was either playing games all along, or maybe he just got cold feet at the last minute. I’ve been doing this long enough to know that being stood up is an inescapable part of this business, but it still pisses me off every time it happens. I think the fact that it ended up wasting my Friday night made it even worse.

On a more positive note, I’ve finished editing my next video, and it should go on sale within the next couple weeks. In some ways it’s a kind of sequel to Desiring DJ, and I strongly recommend watching the one before the other, but it can also be enjoyed on its own.

I’m calling it Joey’s First Black Boy, since it’s a kind of “reality porn” look at a cute, preppy white boy’s first interracial encounter….with none other than the bashful young DJ, who I was able to talk into going all the way in this, his second hardcore video-shoot (and his first time with a white guy as well).

I’ll be sure to post more screenshot previews and hopefully a video preview or two just as soon as I get back to my apartment, but until then here’s a restored version of something I posted on the blog a few months ago:

Last Sunday, I finally met Joey, a cute, 20-year-old white college-boy who I’d been talking to off and on since I started making videos last September, about the possibility of him performing in some interracial scenes. Most of the white guys who express an interest in working with me are older and not even remotely attractive, and/or greedy “bottoms” who want to be humiliated, gang-banged, pissed on, etc., by a bunch of aggressive ghetto thugs. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, as Seinfeld used to say, but that’s obviously not the type of video I’m interested in making. Joey was a surprising change of pace….young, slim, attractive, AND primarily interested in being a “top.”

When I met Joey for the first time on Sunday, the surprises kept coming. First, he admitted that he’d only actually had sex with two guys before, and always in the context of serious dating relationships. I thought that was really cute and sweet, but sort of unexpected for a guy wanting to star in porn, LOL!

Joey also confessed that he’d never had sex with a black guy before….he’d never even met a gay or bisexual black guy before, at least not that he was aware of. Again, that caught me totally off guard. I’d just assumed that a white boy contacting a studio called “Black Boy Addictionz” would already have some experience with interracial sex.

But I wasn’t complaining! In fact, it made me even more excited about working with Joey to think that I’d be able to capture his first time with a black guy on film. That’s why I love amateur, documentary-style “reality porn” so much….because real-life stories like Joey’s are ten times hotter than anything I could come up with in some scripted video with actors.

As you know, I’ve been dying to work with DJ again since first filming him a little over a week ago, and we’ve been in negotiations about  if and when he’d be willing to get fucked on camera. I hadn’t brought up the idea of him doing any interracial scenes just yet, however….of course secretly I’ve been dreaming of the day I’d get lucky enough to enjoy DJ myself, should he ever be willing to do a scene with me….but I didn’t want to bring that idea up too soon and risk scaring him away for good.

I decided that DJ could be a good partner for Joey’s first time, since he’s also a newbie and wouldn’t be as intimidating. When I sent DJ an email with a couple of Joey’s photos and a brief explanation of the scene I was hoping to film, I honestly had no idea how he’d respond. The next day I got a message from him saying something like, “I ain’t been with a white boy before but yeah I’ll do it.”

Again, I couldn’t have scripted it any better if I’d tried 😉 ! (more…)

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A Special Greeting From Everybody’s Favorite “Schoolboy”

Dragon With His Backpack
Dragon continues attending school out of state, and unfortunately he hasn’t been back to visit or film anything in awhile. He still stays in touch on a regular basis, however, and he’s always curious to hear how the business is going, how his videos are selling, what new models I’ve worked with, what scenes I’ve filmed recently, etc. He also checks in on the blog from time to time, and I know he loves reading the feedback as well as receiving emails from his fans.

He recently sent me the following update and asked me to post it for everyone to read on the blog:

what have i been up to. really i have just been going to school and meeting all sorts of people. i’ve made new friends and let go alot of people that i really dont and never did belong in my life. i have been getting older mentally and have reached a level of maturity that most my age wont hit until their later years. no i have not looked at any of the bigger porn companies i just chose to let time take its course. i would however love to and enjoy the honor of thanking everyone who has bought any of the bba entertainment vids. i would also like to thank those who have followed me since the start and i am truly grateful for all of your compliments and questions. you all can email me at Rickeykingofheartsb@gmail.com. i will answer ALL emails received. thank you again for all of your support best wishes to all.

Dragon also gave me permission to share with everyone some of these casual, personal photos of himself. He’s not naked or having sex in any of them, but I figured some of the dedicated Dragon fans out there (and there seem to be many) might enjoy seeing them anyway.

After all, part of my purpose in keeping this blog is to let my customers and readers get to know the people behind the porn-shoots in a way you’re usually not able to with the bigger professional companies. Even though I’ve spent a fair amount of time with Dragon in recent months, these photos still made my heart skip a beat, reminding me of just how irresistibly cute he really is, and how lucky we all are that he’s agreed to share himself so intimately with the porn-viewing public!

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The Forbidden Fruit (A Tribute To Straight Boys’ Asses)

Straight Boy Ass

It should be obvious by now that I’m obsessed with asses, especially those belonging to young males of African descent. There is nothing in this world quite like the unique beauty of black male asses. Seriously, entire volumes of poetry should be devoted to praising their flawless beauty….their naturally high-arching curves, their ripe, round firmness that always seems to leap out at you, stretching enticingly against any fabric that attempts to contain them.

I’m truly addicted to them. I love looking at them, lusting after them, groping them, licking them, fingering them, and yes, sometimes even fucking  them. I’m one of those guys who watches gay porn and usually spends more time drooling over the top’s ass than the bottom’s. Many times I’ll find myself jacking off to fantasies of how good it would feel to fuck the “top” more than I’m stroking to the action on the screen. A big part of the appeal is the fact that the top’s ass is totally private and off-limits, at least for that moment.

That’s also one of the things I love most about straight porn. It’s hot to see a straight black guy fucking the hell out of some random girl, and watch the high muscular slopes of his sweaty ass, rising and falling, rising and falling, as he bucks into her like some wild stallion. Of course part of me is turned on by that virility and aggression. I can’t help but admire the young man’s skills and strength in the bedroom, and sometimes I even envy the lucky female beneath him.

My eyes are always drawn to his ass, however….the forbidden fruit. It’s the most private and protected part of his body, untouched and off-limits to everyone else. Tempting me even more is the fact that most straight males are either barely conscious that their assholes even exist, and if/when they do give their assholes any thought, it’s usually to defend their privacy and deny their potential ability to give others (or themselves) any sexual pleasure.

That’s the great thing about a straight guy’s ass, the fact that in their minds or mine, it’s always at risk, always vulnerable to violation. It can be ignored or forgotten or defended, but it will always carry with it that potential for penetration and everything that represents (“compromised” manhood, loss of control, weakness, vulnerability, femininity, etc.).

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DJ’s Porn Debut

DJ's Audition

When it comes to black guys, I’d say my tastes tend to be pretty diverse. In recent years, “thugs” and masculine guys “on the down low” have been my preference, but I still find myself attracted to cute, preppy boys from time to time.

That’s how I ended up meeting DJ, my newest model. I know he won’t be everyone’s type, but this kid is absolutely beautiful to me, and that’s an adjective I don’t throw around lightly. I’m obviously attracted to all of my models to some extent, but there’s something intensely disarming and seductive about DJ’s looks and personality that I haven’t experienced with previous models. All it takes is one look or smile from him to set my heart racing wildly like I’m some stuttering schoolboy with his first crush. That’s the kind of reaction that even the sexiest hardcore thugs rarely inspire.

DJ On Futon
If you share my weakness for black boys with that “barely legal” look, I think you’re going to love DJ! He just graduated high school last month and only turned 18 a month before that. Hey, it’s not called “Black Boy Addictionz” for nothing !

I mentioned a few days ago that I was stressing out about finding a second model for a scene I’d scheduled with Eureka for Saturday afternoon. Most of the guys I’ve worked with so far came to me through ads I’ve placed online or by word of mouth. Last Thursday night, however, I was desperate enough to browse local profiles on a dating/hook-up site used primarily by young black males, and basically start propositioning the guys I thought looked cute.

When I stumbled across DJ’s profile, I was instantly infatuated with him and knew that I just had to feature him in one or more of my videos! I sent him a message explaining what I do and what I was looking for, and then desperately hoped he wouldn’t be one of those guys who get all self-righteous and “offended” by the idea.

DJ’s initial response was understandably cold and cynical, but over the course of about a dozen messages exchanged that night, his cynicism gradually evolved into a kind of cautious curiosity, concluding with a reluctant, tentative openness to the idea.

The next day, however, all of that progress seemed to have been erased. When I attempted to resume our correspondence, my heart sank when all I got in reply was something along the lines of, “Nawww, I don’t think I could ever do anything like that.” I responded by saying that I understood his reluctance, and that I’d be willing to pay extra if he ever changed his mind. A little sleazy, I know, but that’s how desperate I was to meet this kid and get him in front of my camera!

When I didn’t get any more messages from him the rest of the day, I pretty much gave up on ever hearing from him again. To my great relief and surprise, however, he started sending me messages again later that night. He must have sent me at least a dozen messages, asking tons of questions about what goes on behind the scenes of my video-shoots. He was definitely the most skeptical and inquisitive model I’ve encountered so far. I didn’t find it annoying, though. In fact, it was just the opposite. His questions were really cute and entertaining, especially when they revealed that a lot of his reluctance was more about his own insecurities about his looks and sexual skills than anything else.

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Controversial Porn: Part 3

Michael Galletta and Day Day

Awhile back, I shared a few thoughts about the potentially “controversial” nature of some of my interracial videos (you can read my original reflections here and here). A blog reader recently posted the following reaction, to which I’d like to respond:

Let’s put it this way: if you were not CONSTANTLY putting your models in subservient, some would say demeaning, and most specifically positions that are demeaning such as feeling their faces and shoving your hands into their mouths as if you were inspecting them like a prospective slave buyer or doing that whole “Look at me! I’m a white guy pulling these fake thugs asses apart” thing that you do that have nothing to do with “topping” as a sexual position, then your furious blizzard of words above might hold more weight.

You compare yourself to other studios, but this is as PERSONAL to you as much as it is a business.

I’m even tempted to give you the benefit of the doubt that YOU don’t believe that you are engaging in racially informed/offensive behavior (despite your upbringing) but then your whole business is racially informed, is it not?

You have your fans who will defend you, including your models. Nothing new there. But seriously, you need to objectively stand back and look at how you actually behave in your videos. I’m not asking you to stop making videos. Only to more closely examine that heartfelt self-justification you made.

I don’t expect this to be published on the site. But then it doesn’t [have?] to be.

 

Here are some of my initial thoughts in response:

I actually have no problem recognizing the controversial and potentially offensive nature of some of my interracial videos. That was sort of the whole point of those entries: to acknowledge the negative reactions that some of my videos may provoke, but at the same time point out the hypocrisy, inconsistency, and unfairness of those criticisms (in my opinion).

You suggest that I like to put my models in “subservient” positions, and you describe my videos as “demeaning” and reminiscent of slavery. While you’re certainly entitled to your opinion, I’d like to point out that those are purely subjective, debatable value judgments on your part. Some people will watch my videos and find them similarly disturbing and offensive, while others will see no problem with them whatsoever. Each viewer is going to evaluate my videos (and porn in general) through the filter of his or her own personal experiences, prejudices, and subjective erotic tastes.

The claim that some of the imagery in my videos reminds one of a white slave-owner inspecting a potential “purchase” is an absurd and unfair accusation, in my opinion. I guess by the same logic, any white man (or white woman, for that matter) who touches a black male sexually is similar to white slave-owners who felt up potential slaves on the auction block during the time of slavery. I mean, where do you draw the line when making arguments like that?!? Slaves were also frequently forced to strip naked as a part of such inspections. Am I also somehow imitating a sadistic plantation overseer when I instruct my models to take off their clothes for their solo scenes?!?

How Gay Will He Go (Mild) - Part 1
Listen, I’m all for recognizing and redressing the legacies of slavery, both social and economic. But I think we head down a very slippery slope when we start seeing echoes of slavery in every interracial encounter, both sexual and non-sexual. If we want to pursue such statements to their (il)logical conclusions, I suppose we could also say that white supervisors barking orders at black employees is also reminiscent of slavery. Or black waiters and waitresses serving dinner to white married couples at the local “Applebee’s.” Or white men coaching athletic teams in predominantly black neighborhoods. In fact, one could argue that any time a black person has sex with a white person, regardless of who’s doing the penetrating, it’s similar to the days of slavery. In my opinion, arguments like that are usually pretty stupid and pointless, and they ultimately distract from the very real and persistent racial inequalities we should be talking about.

The overall point I was trying to make in my original blog entries was that things like objectification, domination/submission, conquest, seduction, etc., are universal themes in pornography. If one enjoys and approves of such themes in erotica, then it’s not fair to cry “racism” when those same themes are explored in an interracial context.

(more…)

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Featured Studio of the Week: Chocolate Cream

When it comes to mainstream black-only porn, I think one of the best producers in the business these days is Chocolate Cream (aka “B.C. Productions”). I’ve been a huge fan ever since I first discovered their movies a couple years ago (I don’t think they’ve been around much longer than that). Their videos bring a raw energy and fresh vibe to a market that was starting to become repetitive and predictable, in my opinion.

To begin with, they consistently introduce some of the finest young black men I’ve ever seen in porn. I love the fact that while a lot of the other black production companies seem overrun with gay, girly “bottom”-types, most of Chocolate Cream’s models are masculine and laid-back and could easily pass for “straight” on the street.

My biggest complaint about most black gay porn these days is probably the fact that the sexual roles are so rigidly, predictably inflexible. I can usually determine within a scene’s first ten seconds which model is going to do the fucking, and which model is going to get fucked. I know a lot of guys enjoy watching masculine “tops” paired with feminine, eager “bottoms,” and I can respect that. But personally, I find such scenes to be sort of dull and unexciting most of the time. Where’s the sense of suspense or seduction or conquest in such scenes?!? When I’m in the mood to see a man fuck a woman, I’d rather watch straight porn and witness the real thing 😉 .

The producers at Chocolate Cream, on the other hand, seem to understand that there’s something intensely forbidden and thrilling about watching a masculine man….the kind of guy you’d never for a second suspect of “messing around”….surrendering his ass to another man’s dick.

This isn’t the case in all of their scenes, but there are still plenty of scenes where I honestly have no idea who will be fucking whom until it actually happens. Even better, in my opinion, are the scenes where the guys who’ve starred as skilled, aggressive “tops” in earlier scenes end up surprising the hell out of me by flippin’ over to take some dick! I’m still waiting for a couple of my favorite stars to give up their asses….but where with most other companies I don’t even bother to get my hopes up (i.e., Tiger Tyson, Breion Diamond, etc.), at least with Chocolate Cream there’s always a good chance that with a little patience my dreams may come true.

There’s also a gritty, urban, amateur vibe in their videos that a lot of the other companies lack. Most of the scenes are filmed in crowded apartments, bedrooms, basements, and hotels. The only non-amateur thing about them is the fact that they usually depict fictional, semi-scripted role-playing scenarios….but even those visual fantasies usually bring to the screen a gritty “hood” flavor that feels fresh and authentic!

These scenes frequently test the boundaries of gay black porn by exploring (some might say exploiting) various stereotypes and taboos: street thugs robbing and “raping” other young black men at gunpoint;  straight homeboys “on the DL” cheating on their girlfriends with each other; ruthless drug-dealers demanding head and ass from desperate corner-boys who’ve fallen behind on their payments; straight boys getting “turned out” by horny gay boys; and much, much more!

I can see how some people might think these scenarios are crossing the line, but as I’ve stated before, I feel like porn is one area where we should feel free to indulge and explore even our most “politically incorrect” fantasies. In the wrong hands, such scenes could easily come off as cheesy and outrageous, but most of the time they work; mainly, I think, because a lot of the models are believably masculine and “straight-appearing,” and the sex is almost always gritty and aggressive and verbal.

Here are exclusive links to a few FREE GALLERIES featuring hardcore clips from several  Chocolate Cream productions:

Gallery #1

(The sexy “top” in this scene goes by the name of “Dream,” and he’s one of the hottest new faces I’ve seen in awhile. I’m betting he’ll make a name for himself in the business, and I hope he’ll give us the pleasure of watching him take some dick in the near future! He’s definitely one of the rising stars I’m keeping my eye on these days!)

Gallery #2

Gallery #3

(“JR” – the lucky “top” in this scene – is one of my favorite black porn stars right now. He doesn’t show much personality in his scenes, but I love how it seems to be all about business for him. He fucks with an aggressive, no-nonsense, relentless kind of seriousness and urgency that is incredibly hot to watch. You really have to check out some of his other scenes to see what I’m talking about. He’s another one I’m still hoping will give in and “bottom” one of these days….hell, that’s probably why he’s so interesting to me).

Gallery #4

(“Venom” – the guy getting fucked in this scene – is/was another one of my all-time favorites, although I feel like he’s been somewhat over-exposed lately. I’ve lost count of how many scenes I’ve seen him perform in, and after his thirtieth scene or so, the thrill of watching him starts to wear thin. Still, he’s one of black gay porn’s greatest, in my opinion, and I will never forget how hot it was the first time I saw him go from being an aggressive “top” to a reluctant but sexy “bottom”!)

Here are some of my personal “favorites” that you can stream, rent, or download in my Online Theater (just click on the photos to check out the video):


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Putting The “Fantasy” In “Fantasy Football”

Like a lot of gay boys, I was never very interested in sports growing up. I was raised in a family of sports fans, however, so I’ve had to spend countless hours watching baseball, basketball, and football games on TV. Even as a kid, I quickly discovered that watching sports didn’t have to be torture….in fact, it could be a lot of fun when I focused more on the athletes than the game itself!

Over the years, I’ve gained a greater appreciation for sports, but I still always watch them with one eye on the game and one eye on the bodies under the uniforms. What healthy, full-blooded gay man doesn’t imagine his favorite athletes stripping and showering in the lockerrooms after a hot, sweaty game???

Football’s always been one of my least favorite sports to watch, mainly because the guys tend to be a lot heavier than I usually like, and all of those helmets and heavy padding end up hiding too much of their bodies. Since I joined my family’s “Fantasy Football” league last year, however, I’ve discovered that even the NFL offers plenty of stroke-worthy eye-candy to inspire countless post-game fantasies.

So in honor of football season’s opening week, here’s a little tribute to a few of my favorite NFL hunks:

                                                Terrell Owens

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I’m usually attracted to the slim, toned, young-looking guys (there’s a reason I named my company “Black Boy Addictionz”), but sometimes I can find myself just as turned on by a powerful hunk of a man like T.O.

A lot of my friends turn up their noses in surprise and disgust when I confess my little crush on T.O., but I can’t help myself. There’s just something I find so hypnotically sexy about this man! I love the way his strong, white teeth flash against the darkness of his skin. I love his large lips, strong jaws, and beautifully sculpted body. And there’s no way you can look at a body like his and not suspect that there’s a massive piece of meat swinging between those legs!


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I know that a lot of people can’t stand T.O. because of his reputation for being a bit of an arrogant prick both on and off the field, but I have to admit that’s one of the things that turns me on about him. In the photo above, it looks like he’s saying, “What the fuck you waitin’ for?!? Get over here and start suckin’ this dick!”

That’s an order I’d gladly obey without hesitation 😉 . Hell, he could choke me with that dick and I wouldn’t complain….and there aren’t many guys I’d say that about!

I also get the sense that he knows how to fuck….although in reality he’d probably crush my pale, puny body and send me limping my way to the emergency room after he was through with me, LOL! Still, it would probably be worth it for a wild romp in the sack with a stud as sexy as him!

Terrell Owens

 

Based on the photo above, it looks to me like T.O.’s also got a damn fine ass! Ahhhhh, what I wouldn’t give for the chance to bury my face between those dark, sweaty ass-cheeks after one of his Sunday afternoon games! I bet that hole’s nice and tight and tasty too!

(more…)

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My Latest Olympic Crush

Usain Bolt

I’m sorry for posting so little from my own videos lately, but things should hopefully pick up soon as I film new scenes and prepare for release the footage I’ve already shot.

In the meantime, I couldn’t resist sharing a few horny reflections about the latest athlete to make my mild obsession with the Beijing Olympics even more enjoyable 😉 .

I’m talking about Usain Bolt, the 21-year-old, gold-medalist sprinter from Jamaica. (I guess my dick has no sense of national loyalty, LOL).

Damn, what I wouldn’t give for one night….hell, even just one hour….with this stunning dark-skinned Adonis!

Usain Bolt
Everything about him makes my dick hard….his beautiful black skin….his wide, expressive eyes….

Usain Bolt Face

 

….those thick, sensual lips….

Usain Bolt

 

….and that flawless, tightly muscled body!

Not to mention the fact that his shorts seem barely able to contain what appears to be one massive piece of meat hanging between his legs! I’m not trying to take anything away from Bolt’s impressive athletic achievements, but I know I can’t be the only one whose gaze goes immediately down to that heavy appendage flopping wildly all over the place every time he runs!

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Another Reason To Watch the Olympics….

I’ve really been getting into the Olympics this weekend.

At first, watching these physically flawless athletes performing one incredible feat after another just makes me feel like an out-of-shape, lazy, worthless excuse for a human being. I see the ambition, determination, and self-discipline of these athletes who devote every waking hour of every day of their lives for years to train their bodies and perfect their athletic skills….and then I think about how much “fast food” I eat, and all my bad couch-potato habits, and how sometimes it’s even hard for me to find the time and motivation to film an amateur porn video for cryin’ out loud, and of course I end up feeling like a big loser.

Once I get past all the self-loathing, however, I’m able to relax and enjoy the spectacle and suspense and drama of the whole thing. I didn’t think I was going to get drawn into it this time around, but so far I’m hooked.

But the thrill of the competition, the human drama, the national pride, and all of that other high-minded crap is only part of the Olympics’ entertainment value for me. I’m not going to lie, half the time I’m drooling over some cute young gymnast’s ass or desperately hoping that NBC has at least one gay cameraman who will give us a close-up shot of Michael Phelps’ soaking-wet Speedos as he jumps out of the pool after a race 😉 .

Michael Phelps

So you can imagine what a pleasant surprise it was to stumble across Cullen Jones, the only black guy on the U.S. men’s Olympic swim team, and as of earlier tonight, only the second African-American swimmer to win a Gold medal.

Cullen Jones

Cullen Jones

I was expecting plenty of eye-candy….watching an international spectacle like the Olympics really reminds me just how many specimens of stunning male beauty there are around the globe. But a black guy? On the swim team?!? So much for the stereotypes, LOL!

As you can tell from the photos below, he’s a real hottie for sure. He has a flawless body, beautiful skin, perfect teeth, and a sexy smile….

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Gossip-Hungry Gay Boys and Jealous Drama Queens, Spoiling Amateur Porn For Everyone!

I’m beginning to see how the stereotype of the cold, heartless porn producer originated. Once again, I’m feeling like it’s almost impossible for a producer to have any kind of compassion or concern for his models, and still survive and succeed in the business. Once again, I’m torn between my concern for my models as people, and my need to make smart choices as a businessman.

Last weekend, I received a panic-stricken email from one of my models, begging me to take down anything that shows his face. Apparently, the wrong gay people found out about my videos and started spreading gossip and malicious rumors throughout the gay online community in my city, eventually reaching friends and family outside that community as well. One person even stooped so low as to publish a profile on one of the more popular black hook-up sites under the screenname “We_GotAIDS,” listing names, photos, and personal info about several of my models.

I’m 99% certain that one of the people behind it is a guy who’s contacted me several times expressing a desire to do some videos for me. This past Saturday night, he grew hostile and threatening when I politely turned him down. You know how sometimes you can tell that somebody’s not quite “right” just by looking at their pics? This guy looked like a hateful, conniving asshole from the start, and it didn’t take him long to prove my assumptions correct. Unfortunately, he seems hell-bent on spreading gossip and lies about me and my models, thus polluting my pool of potential models (at least those who are gay and bisexual) and potentially causing real harm to the lives and reputations of guys I care about.

I really am too naive and trusting sometimes. When I started this amateur porn project, I totally underestimated the number of hateful, vindictive, ugly human beings out there who don’t give a second thought about destroying other people’s lives if it brings them a little attention; the “crabs in the barrel” who can’t stand seeing others succeed.

One of my models is taking the whole thing particularly hard. He knew when he filmed his scenes there was a risk that people would find out, but he was still mostly closeted and emotionally unprepared, I think, to be exposed in such a cruel and humiliating way. I have tried to tell him that he shouldn’t let the harassment get under his skin; that he is better than the hateful people trying to tear him down; that he still has a bright future ahead of him; that I care about him as more than just a cute model; and that he is welcome to come over any time he needs to get away or just wants a sympathetic listener.

Dragon had to suffer through something similar when his videos first came out. I  also remember witnessing the same kind of thing happen several times when I was a regular “Cocodorm” member. It’s no wonder that the black gay porn industry is dominated by feminine bottom-types who couldn’t hide their sexual orientations if they wanted to…..all the masculine boys are driven into the closet by these shameless gossip-queen bitches who have nothing better to do than expose amateur porn stars!

And that’s one of the ironies about all of this….it’s the guys who love to watch porn and complain about the lack of hot masculine porn stars who are the same ones exposing and attacking their peers who choose to make porn as HIV-infected “sluts” and “ho’s,” thus driving more hot boys away from the porn industry and into the closet.

I don’t know if it’s worse in the black community in general (the flip-side of something usually so positive, a more expansive and intimate family and social network?); or maybe my city is just too damn small, even for an amateur producer like me; or maybe the black gay boys in my city are just particularly vicious and judgmental???

Whatever the cause, the fact that this has already happened to almost all of my models is extremely frustrating and depressing. Making videos with the types of guys I’m attracted to is going to grow increasingly difficult if there’s a mafia of gossip-hungry drama-queens constantly waiting for every blog update as their next chance to expose another one of my models. Every time I post screenshot previews or video clips, I will have to worry that the models involved (at least the gay and bisexual boys) will most likely be exposed, mocked, and humiliated. Even the straight boys are at risk for exposure if some evil gay boy happens to recognize them.

I’ve already removed the blog posts featuring a certain model’s action scenes, at least until he goes off to college in a few weeks, even though it will certainly have a negative impact on my video sales. But I can’t exactly do this every time a model gets “outed,” and I don’t want to settle for filming porn that only features out-and-proud gay men.

I’m really at an emotional and professional impasse here….

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