From “Preacher’s Kid” To Pornographer….

A fan of my videos recently asked:

Can I ask what made you want to get into this. Money, or just the love of hot guys and filming?

Well, it’s definitely not the money! If money was my primary motivation, I probably would have already quit by now. It will probably be a very long time before I gain enough exposure, produce enough videos, and establish enough of a loyal customer-base to make any kind of profit off my videos. ESPECIALLY if I want to make more “straight-seduction/gay-for-pay” videos like Every Straight Thug Has A Price. I spent so much money to make that video happen that I’ll probably be in a NURSING HOME before I ever make a profit off of it 😛 !!!

Of course it would be NICE to get a steady flow of cash coming in, but only because that will make it possible to produce more videos.

From a very early age, I’ve just always been a very sexual person, and there’s always been an intense voyeuristic aspect to my sexuality.

Not to get too psychoanalytical or anything, but I’m sure a big part of that was due to the fact that I was a “preacher’s kid,” and raised in a very religious, sexually repressive household.

When I was as young as eight or nine, every Sunday I’d obsessively scour the pages of that week’s “TV Guide,” eagerly seeking out anything that might feature nudity or sexual content. Sometimes the “TV Guide” descriptions alone were enough to stimulate my horny prepubescent imagination. But when I was feeling ESPECIALLY daring, I’d set the VCR timer for whatever naughty flick was on at 2 a.m., and then secretly watch it the next time I was lucky enough to have the living room to myself 😉 .

I also remember accidentally walking in on this cute little black girl from my preschool class when she was naked and sitting on the toilet….and that thrilling image of her naked brown bottom accompanied my very first experimentations with masturbation.

That fascination with nudity and anything sexual….especially as a forbidden spectator….only intensified as I got older.

One of my favorite fantasies was to imagine the hottest of my junior-high schoolmates (because I grew up in poor, inner-city neighborhoods, it just so happened that most of them were black 😉  ) standing side-by-side, fully-clothed, in an empty room. I think the gist of the fantasy was that on any given day I could pick out any one of them for my sexual pleasure.

“Raymond” – I’d call out the name of the cute, skinny boy with the light-brown skin who sat next to me in homeroom. He’d step forward. Then I’d instruct him to slowly remove his socks, then his shirt, then his pants, etc., etc., until his naked body was totally revealed.

Of course for the longest time I wasn’t quite sure what to do with him after that, LOL. But it’s funny when I think back on it now, to realize how even as a kid I was imagining myself as a porn director, years before I’d ever see my first porn video!

Of course when I discovered that such a thing as “pornography” existed, my horny imagination went crazy! My little brother and I shared a room, and sometimes he would come out of the shower and do a little strip-tease as he pulled down the towel around his waist. Then he’d jump on the bed and begin wildly humping his pillow (I think he might have seen a real porn video before I did, LOL), while I would jokingly coach him and pretend like I was filming the whole thing with an imaginary camera.

So yeah….I think it’s fair to conclude that this is something I’ve always fantasized about doing 🙂 .

I actually came very close to making a porn video back in college. It started out as a late-night conversation, joking with my gay roommate, but the more we talked about it, the more we wanted to do it. We even started drafting a script, planning out possible locations for filming, and sent out an “invitation” email to everyone in our circle of gay friends that we thought were cute and open-minded enough to participate. Sadly, I got cold feet at the last minute, and it never ended up happening.

But it’s always been one of those intense nagging fantasies that has stayed with me over the years. When I discovered AMVC.com close to ten years ago, I knew that they would probably be the most affordable and practical way for me to start a porn company, should I ever find the time, money, and courage to pursue it.

A few months ago, I had a little extra money, and a couple friends who encouraged me to try it….

….and now my dick and balls are staring everybody in the face on AMVC’s homepage 😉 !

 

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My Behind-the-Camera Voice: “Sexy” or Just Plain Annoying?

A fan recently wrote:

As for your upcoming new vid…FINALLY, a long-awaited glimpse of your FACE (attached though it will be to a large and rude appendage)!

I hope you will see fit to continue with the on-camera conversations with your thugs. As you know, there are fans of your VOICE in the audience!

LOL!!!

Well….Like most people, I hate the way I sound on audio and video recordings. So it’s difficult to comprehend how anyone could find anything “sexy” or appealing about it, but hey, if it adds to your enjoyment of my videos, I’m happy!

And don’t worry, I definitely plan to continue incorporating in-depth interviews/conversations as part of all my future videos. I know it will probably annoy the impatient guys out there who want to see hardcore fucking in the first five minutes of a video, but personally I think getting to hear a model’s stories, personality, nervousness, etc. only builds anticipation and intensifies one’s enjoyment of the action when it eventually starts.

In fact, I think that might be the #1 thing that makes amateur porn so much hotter than the professional stuff, the sense that you’re watching REAL people with unique personalities, fantasies, fears, dreams, etc….showing off their bodies and having sex on camera, many times for the very first time. Professional porn might be hot to watch, but there’s always something detached and impersonal about the assembly-line stream of one scene after another, featuring models who either present a fake persona or show us very little of their real personality (because they’re never given the chance).

But back to my voice….I think the toughest part of editing my first two videos has been resisting the temptation to edit out every time I say something! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cringed while playing back the raw footage, thinking to myself, “God, what a stupid thing to say!” or “Now why the hell did I have to go and ruin the moment by saying that???” or “Wow, I sound like such a sleazy, horny old man!”. I’ve actually given into the urge to cut those comments a few times, but for the most part I’m leaving them in.

And while I’m glad some people like my voice, keep in mind that I’m NOT supposed to be the “focus” of these videos! I’m afraid my actual face, body, and dick really leave a lot to be desired. When I started this project, I had every intention of staying BEHIND the camera at all times. The only reason I reluctantly did the second video with Jay was because I didn’t have any white guys to work with, and Jay was so damn gorgeous to me, and so back-and-forth about doing a gay scene, that I felt like I had to “seize the moment” and make it happen.

Sorry for rambling…..but I guess this is the point of a blog, right?

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