I just wanted to say thanks to those of you who've voted in the polls I posted a few weeks ago. The response to the idea of a membership-website has been overwhelmingly positive, and I've officially decided to pursue it. I'm currently devoting most of my free time to learning the basics of web design, developing ideas for the website, and working hard to make sure that the upcoming year is even hotter and more exciting than the first. If all goes well, I'm hoping to launch the new website by January or February. It's a big and scary move on my part, especially considering the shaky state of the economy, but I'm hopeful that this will lead to a bigger and better future for BBA.

The good news for fans of my videos is that for about what you'd pay for just one of my DVD's, you'll be able to enjoy unrestricted online access to all of the scenes from my previously-released DVD's, as well as new and not-yet-released content. With the support of your membership, I should be able to introduce fresh faces and release new scenes more frequently and consistently than I've been able to do in the past. Rather than seeing a new video every month or two (sometimes months after the original video-shoot), you'll be able to enjoy several new scenes a month, potentially just days or even hours after they're filmed. Although all of the details haven't yet been worked out, I'm thinking that subscribers will be able to download all of my content to their computers permanently. 

For those of you who prefer watching your porn the old-fashioned way, in a dark room with a television, DVD-player, and bottle of lube , I'm planning to continue releasing at least the hottest scenes from my website on DVD through AMVC.com and online through AEBN. I will also probably continue to offer free previews, behind-the-scenes stories, personal reflections, and miscellaneous stuff related to gay erotica and other porn I like through this blog (which you'll be able to access through the preview section of the website). Again, nothing's set in stone yet, so if you have any requests, advice, or suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment on the blog or e-mail me directly at BlackBoyAddictionz@gmail.com.

The bad news is that all of this is requiring a hell of a lot of time, money, energy, and hard work, especially since I'd like to kick off at least a basic version of the new website no later than January or February 2009. As a result, I don't have much time for recruiting, filming, or editing these days, and I probably won't be releasing any more scenes until the website's premiere. I hope you'll stick around, though, because I'll still be sharing updates and previews through the blog, as well as some special holiday sales and the results of the "2008 BBA Awards," which should be interesting and a lot of fun !

I did want to respond briefly to a comment left on one of the polls that asked me not to become "just another greedy porn producer" by creating a pay-site (I'm paraphrasing).

As hard as it might be to believe in this day and age, I am not motivated primarily by greed or any desire to get rich from my videos. The funny thing is that I'm actually about the least ambitious person you'll ever meet! If striking it rich had been my primary goal, I would have quit a long time ago. And I most certainly wouldn't be putting my pale, out-of-shape ass in the videos , or filming the kind of unconventional interracial scenes that lack appeal for a mass audience. 

I guess you'll either believe me or you won't, but my primary reason for starting this whole adventure was my intense, almost religious obsession with porn, and a desire to explore my own sexual and voyeuristic fantasies and produce the kind of black and interracial videos that I've always wanted to see but that nobody else seemed to be making.

Now I'm a huge fan of free amateur porn sites like X-Tube, and I love the idea that any guy or girl with a cell-phone or camcorder can create their own porn and share it with the world. But let's face it, most of the stuff out there is crap. Perhaps I'm just pickier than most, but I usually have to spend several hours wading through literally hundreds of homemade vids before stumbling upon something worth stroking to until I cum. Half the time, I end up giving up in frustration and settling on something from AEBN or even one of the pay-sites I join from time to time.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that if you want to see the kind of attractive guys and memorable scenes worth coming back to again and again, you usually have to pay for it! I don't say that because I'm some money-hungry corporate sell-out, but because I've learned that it costs money to produce high-quality porn, even high-quality homemade porn. Especially if you want to film scenes starring models that are masculine and attractive, or videos featuring more expensive erotic treats such as "tops" taking dick for the first time or straight boys going "gay for pay." I always pay my models well (at least relative to the budget I'm working with), and I usually end up investing a fair amount of my own cash into each and every video-shoot. I don't think it's unfair or "greedy," then, to turn around and try to earn back that investment and make enough profit to continue making videos and maybe even do so on a full-time basis.

According to the poll responses so far, **55%** of you admit that you only look at the free previews on X-Tube and the blog but rarely or never purchase my videos online or on DVD. As a human being and fellow porn consumer and enthusiast, I want as many people to enjoy my previews and blog entries as possible. But as a businessman and investor with a huge personal stake in BBA's financial success, I'm afraid I can't keep doing what I'm doing if I want BBA to survive and thrive long-term.

Some might call that being greedy, but I think it's being realistic. And I've decided to develop a membership website because I think that will offer the best chance for long-term financial stability and the freedom to bring you many more hot scenes in the months and maybe even years to come.

While washing dishes the other day, I found myself singing Katy Perry's hit single "I Kissed A Girl," only I substituted "boy" for "girl" in the lyrics of the chorus . It's just a funny, catchy little pop song, and not anything "deep" or profound, but it nevertheless got me thinking about how easy it can be to take the taboo of gay sex (and the thrill of violating that taboo) for granted.

It's now been nearly thirteen years since I "came out" during my sophomore year of college, and I was messing around with boys long before that. Since that time, I've enjoyed my fair share of hot same-sex encounters and watched so much gay porn that I've probably earned a place in the Guiness Book of World Records ! That's a hell of a lot of male-on-male kissing, dick-sucking, ass-eating, and butt-fucking since the first breathless, terrifying, heart-poundingly exhilarating moment when I first experimented with another boy as a young teenager.

Now don't get me wrong -- I'm still just as horny and sex-crazed as ever, and it's not like I've ever lost my awe and appreciation for the beauty of the male body or the thrill of gay sex. In fact, I think the intensity of my sexual imagination and obvious lust for most of my models brings a fresh erotic edge to my videos that a lot of gay porn lacks. Still, I think too often I lose my sense of the sheer taboo of gay sex, that euphoric rush that comes with surrendering to something that "feels so wrong" but "feels so right" at the same time (to paraphrase the song lyrics).

I long ago stopped giving a fuck about what my family or church or society thinks about my sexuality, which is usually a good thing. But I also think something gets lost in that process, and that is the heightened sense of doing something wicked and forbidden and "unnatural." As silly as the Katy Perry song is overall, I think it does a good job of capturing that thrill of exploring a sexual taboo for the first time.

Now I'd never want to return to the closet for anything -- the awful weight of shame and self-hatred sure as hell isn't worth the occasional sexual thrills that come with it. Still, sometimes while watching a hardcore gay sex scene, I like to step back and take a minute to remind myself that I'm actually watching a man's dick penetrating another man's asshole. Or right before diving in between a hot black boy's buttocks for some hungry, horny ass-eating, I'll think of how inexplicably strange it is that I'm so eager to lick another guy's ass, how "disgusting" and "depraved" that must seem to so many in the heterosexual world. And for whatever reason, thinking of such things makes me savor the experience even more !



I think too often I also take for granted the taboos surrounding interracial sex.

As I've explained in past entries, I grew up in predominantly black neighborhoods, schools, and churches, which means I've been lusting after and messing around with black guys for as long as I can remember. Consequently, when having sex with black guys I don't really share the same sense of suspense and excitement experienced by white guys who've had more racially segregrated upbringings and have therefore built up more racialized erotic stereotypes and taboos in their minds. Again, I wouldn't trade in the way I was raised for anything, but that's not to say there aren't moments when I envy those who experience interracial sex as something new and forbidden.

The ironic thing is that the times I've come closest to experiencing that is when I've hooked up with young black guys who've always fantasized about having sex with a white guy but never had the courage or opportunity to pursue it. I'm talking about the young street thug types who've barely even interacted with any white people other than cops or teachers or employers. I love seeing that look in their eyes of fear mixed with curiosity and desire, like I'm some kind of exotic zoo animal that might bite them if they come too close. I love that tentative first kiss, that first wary touch of my face and lips and hair, the mingling of new smells and the almost child-like amusement at the contrast of my pasty-white skin against theirs. In a perfect world, of course, the very notion of "race," along with such socialized sensitivity to racial differences, wouldn't exist. But we don't live in that world, and in the world that exists today, such things can inspire many sizzling-hot erotic encounters!

I guess all I'm trying to say (I'm really just thinking out loud) is that in my everyday life, interracial male-on-male sex might be the norm, but I never want to take for granted just how exciting and extraordinary both can be!