Category Archive: Turn-Ons and Fantasies

Controversial Porn and My “Catch-22”

Posted by Michael on June 4th, 2008

When I started Black Boy Addictionz last fall, I knew that some of the videos I wanted to make would be controversial. I think a mischievous part of me actually ENJOYS pushing people’s buttons….just ask my family and friends, I’m sure they’d tell you that I’ve mastered the art of provocation 😉 !

I anticipated that a lot of guys, both black and white, would be turned off and in some cases PISSED off at my decision to film scenes where masculine black males (even “thugs,” in some cases) perform “submissive” sexual acts with white males. The vast majority (probably 99.9999%) of gay interracial porn consists of the stereotypical hung black stud fucking the hell out of a sissy white bottom, to the point that any departure from that stereotype strikes some as “unnatural” and distasteful. This is so deeply engrained in our conceptions of gay interracial sex that the amateur producer Joe Schmoe recently coined the term “reverse interracial” to describe scenes where the black male sucks dick or gets fucked by a white guy. I’ve even heard from some black guys who go so far as to say it’s “racist” any time a white man takes the “top” role with a black guy. [To be fair, I’ve also heard from MANY guys, both white AND black (and neither), who WELCOME the change of pace.]

What I *DIDN’T* anticipate, however, was the kind of negative, even HOSTILE, reaction by some to the “straight seduction”/”gay for pay” theme itself (regardless of its racial make-up). I’ve been accused of exploitation, rape, manipulation, cruelty, torture….Hell, reading through some of the comments on my X-Tube clips, you’d think I should be reported to Amnesty International for crimes against humanity!

I’m beginning to think that a lot of this hostility comes from a lack of familiarity with the history and diversity of gay erotica, and a very limited exposure to AMATEUR porn in particular.

A big part of it is generational, I think. Most of the negative feedback comes from young black guys who’ve only been watching gay porn for a couple years at the most. They’ve been raised on a porn diet of predictable, black-only porn scenes where the “tops are tops” and the “bottoms are bottoms.” Videos like mine are as foreign to them as everything else that happened before 1990 😉 . They seem to have no idea that my videos are part of a genre that’s been around for decades!

I’ve been obsessed with “straight boy” porn since I first started watching porn in college. For the longest time I was addicted to the young Adonises of Bel Ami, beautiful straight boys from Eastern Europe who the legendary director George Duroy would recruit from poor villages into lives of “gay for pay” porn. My influences since then are too many to describe here. They range from comically staged fantasies to gritty, documentary-style “reality porn” depicting actual straight boys selling their young bodies for cash.

I suppose it’s fair to question the “morality” of such films (just as I suppose it’s fair to debate the “morality” of porn itself).

I have to confess, however, that what some find morally reprehensible are the very same things that turn me on the most! While I certainly don’t condone rape or violence, there’s a huge gray area between passionate, eager lovemaking and the extreme of non-consensual sex, that has a lot of erotic potential.

Themes like economic coercion, prostitution, the “deflowering” of virgins, reluctance, initiations/hazing, sex in exchange for money or favors, etc. have always held a powerful erotic appeal for me in literature, film, erotic fiction, AND pornography. These themes have a long and vibrant history in both gay AND straight erotica, and I don’t see why their relatively mild manifestations in my own videos should be so shocking or offensive.

Over the next few weeks, I plan on presenting some of my porn inspirations on this blog as a way of better explaining where I’m coming from, and preparing readers for the release of my potentially controversial next video (I’m calling it Corrupting Cortez, if that tells you anything).

And that brings me to a kind of predicament I’ve gotten myself into with my videos, the “Catch 22” mentioned in the title of this post.

Some of my videos, like The Schoolboy and the Thug, will feature only black models in relatively conventional action scenes (but hopefully with a unique amateur vibe). The problem is that a lot of the fans for these types of videos do NOT enjoy interracial scenes, at least not the type that I’m making. In fact, a lot of them are the same folks who find my “gay for pay” films so disturbing and offensive.

Conversely, a lot of you who enjoy my videos for their interracial and/or “gay for pay” themes have complained that a video like Schoolboy is boring and unappealing.

It’s going to take some time before I know how much cross-over there is between these two camps. My fear at the moment, however, is that I’ll risk alienating both groups by offering videos they simply don’t like (or find offensive).

My feeling as I write this is that I should follow the advice given to me by one of the main guys at AMVC when I started making videos: Stick to the stuff that turns ME on, and trust that those turned on by the same things will buy my videos and remain loyal fans, while those who aren’t will eventually move on to producers who better satisfy their erotic tastes.

Scary Street Thugs, Dirty “Older” White Guys, and Other Reflections

Posted by Michael on June 3rd, 2008

I wanted to take a few moments to respond to a couple things brought up in the “blog comments” lately. One customer/reader recently posted the following:

Your video Every Straight Thug Has A Price is my favorite format for interracial action. Great job! My only “criticism” would be a more or less personal one based on my own preferences–like the fact that you seem to feature thugs who are a little too “wholesome” and non-threatening (as opposed to some of the great-looking street thugs who are more inked up, muscled up, and gangsta-looking)–and I think your videos would benefit from leaning more toward the less wholesome looking black dudes. Again, that’s a personal point of view. I just don’t find twinks very appealing–black, brown, or white. There’s something incredibly hot to me about “taming the wild beast”, so I would love to see you in some vids where you explore, fondle, and service some black thugs who look more convincingly “street.” Cortez is a good starting place. He’s more masculine in appearance than the pretty boiz. Just a thought. Hope you don’t mind the feedback.

I don’t mind the feedback at all! I *ALWAYS* welcome feedback from readers and customers when expressed in a respectful and constructive way (as you did above).

I appreciate the fact that you made it clear that your comments come out of your own personal erotic preferences. I haven’t been doing this for long, but I’ve already realized that I’ll never be able to please everybody all of the time. The best that I can do is make the kind of porn I’ve always enjoyed watching, or wanted to see, with the kind of guys that turn me on.

That said, I have some good news AND bad news for you. The bad news is that unlike you, I *do* like the slim, smooth, youthful “twink” and “pretty-boy-thug” look, as long as the guy is masculine (and even there I’ll make exceptions from time to time). Shyne, for example, has the kind of tight, toned body that drives me absolutely wild with lust, even though he isn’t very muscular or tattooed or “threatening.”

But the good news is that I *also* share your attraction to the “great-looking street thugs who are more inked up, muscled up, and gangsta-looking,” and I promise you that I’ll do my best to feature some of them in future videos.

Keep in mind that it’s more challenging to convince such types to appear in gay porn, and there also comes a point when a thug can look a little TOO “street” and “threatening” for me to feel smart and safe about inviting him into my home to shoot porn. But I promise that I’ll make an effort (I already have a couple prospects), because I’d ultimately like to feature a diverse collection of black and latino guys in my videos.

The same guy continued:

By the way, I bought your first Every Straight Thug Has A Price but I would never personally purchase a black on black action video because I can’t “project myself” into the fantasy. (I like fantasizing that I’m doing what YOU’RE doing when you spend lots of time exploring those beautiful black bodies without getting your own ass kicked!) lol Keep up the great work. I love how you take your time instead of rushing the action. You’re one of the few who understands that sensuality and sexuality are equally important.

Thanks for the compliment….I’m glad that you appreciate the laid-back, leisurely pace of my videos. I’m sorry to hear that you don’t have an interest in my black-on-black videos, but I totally understand where you’re coming from. I suspected that some of the folks who enjoy my interracial scenes wouldn’t be interested in the black-on-black scenes, and vice versa.

I doubt it will change your mind, but I’m still very much present in the black-on-black scenes, as a voice behind the camera who interviews the boys beforehand, coaches them through the experience of their first porn-shoot, poses occasional questions throughout the scene, etc. As a viewer, it’s still possible to identify with me as a horny white guy lucky enough to have two sexy young black guys in his apartment, watching with breathless suspense and excitement as they touch for the first time and let me guide them through their first porn shoot. I know it’s a stretch, but I had to give it a shot 😉 !

Last but not least, I got a kick out of JoeSchmoe and VersatileBoy’s comments about the way I sometimes refer to myself as an “older white guy.”

I guess that’s just my own insecurities coming out. It’s sort of my way of making clear that my videos are not about MY looks, body, dick size, etc.

Plus the whole “older white guy” thing can be a hot visual fantasy, in my opinion. ESPECIALLY with the straight guys, but even with a cute gay boy like Dragon, it’s exciting to think that with a little cash and persuasion, a gay guy who’s *13* years older than him, and not at all his type, can still get his hands on a young stud like him.

But don’t worry….In real life, I don’t really think of myself as “old.” In fact, I usually feel like I’m still 21 or 22, and it sometimes comes as a rude awakening when I realize there’s now a widening generation gap between me and the guys I like to date and hook up with!

Maybe that’s part of the reason I’m enjoying this porn project so much. It allows me to enjoy the young black guys I drool over without feeling like too much of an old creep (it’s “just business,” as opposed to asking a guy out or hitting on him in a club or on the street).

Or maybe it’s just the opposite? Maybe this is my way of preemptively EMBRACING the status of “dirty old man” before somebody ELSE has the chance to label me as such???

A “Thug” By Any Other Name….

Posted by Michael on June 3rd, 2008

[Note to Readers: The images in this post are NOT “Black Boy Addictionz” models! ]

Since I use the term “thug” in the titles of three out of my four DVD’s so far, I thought I’d post a few reflections on what I mean when I use that word to describe one of my models.

I know some guys (usually white) think that if a black guy’s wearing a du-rag and sagging his pants, that automatically makes him a “thug”.

I know other guys who seem to think that a guy has to be built like a body-builder, covered from head to toe with tattoos, and participate in at least one drive-by shooting a day before he can earn his “thug” credentials!

I think my own definition of a “thug” falls somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.

Some of my models have already been to prison at least half a dozen times. That fact, plus their cocky attitude and laid-back “swagger” make them definite “thugs” in my book.

Of course there are a lot of young black guys who like to CALL themselves “thugs,” but for them it’s more about a kind of attitude and lifestyle-choice than it is about any actual violent or criminal activity. For them it’s more about the hip-hop fashions (sagging jeans, “grills” in their mouths, “Timbs” on their feet, chains hanging low around their necks, etc.) and a “hood” mentality that celebrates greed and ego, along with values such as “staying fresh,” “money over bitches,” “no snitching,” etc., etc.

I’d place Shyne (Breakin’ In A Young Thug) closer to this category. He proudly and repeatedly insists that he’s a “thug,” a “G,” but for him I think it’s more about a sensibility, a lifestyle, than anything truly dangerous or criminal. Although he does come from the “hood,” and I know he spent close to a year in prison a couple years ago for charges that were later dropped, so it’s at least a little bit more than just talk.

Here are a few “thug” pics I like, collected from various places on the web:

People will always disagree on what truly makes a guy a “thug.”

Some readers/customers have already expressed wishes for me to film scenes with models a little more rough-looking and “hard” and threatening than the models I’ve featured so far, and I’ll do my best to satisfy those requests.

What I hate more than anything, however, is when gay porn companies present one of their models as a “thug,” except that when the guy strips out of his sagging jeans and backward baseball-cap, he turns out to be one of those “girly” gay black boys you might see prancing and twirling in tight pants and muscle-shirts at your local gay club on a Friday night 😉 !

I promise that I’ll never do anything fake or insulting like that, EVER! When I describe one of my models as a thug, I’ll always have an honest justification for it. For example, neither Michael (Black Boys Who Crave White Cock) nor Dragon are “thugs,” and I’d never think of describing them as such.

Short and Quick, or Long and Slow :)?

Posted by Michael on June 3rd, 2008

Now that I’ve got some hot video footage piling up, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I want to release all of it.

Most porn companies, and even a lot of amateur producers, seem to stick to the traditional formula of three-to-five scenes per film. Every scene cuts almost immediately to the hardcore action, which is then heavily edited so that it all fits neatly into a predictable, fast-paced, 15-to-20-minute scene.

I know that a lot of guys….probably MOST, in fact….prefer their porn that way. They want it quick and simple, and couldn’t care less about who the performers are, or what went on behind the scenes. Such scenes allow them to enjoy a variety of models in different combinations, and if they don’t like one scene, they can always skip to the next with a simple click of a button.

While I can certainly enjoy those videos, I’ve always found them somewhat frustrating. Back when I first discovered gay porn in my late teens, one of my favorite studios was Bel Ami. While I loved the stunning, youthful beauty of their mostly-straight Eastern European models, I remember getting annoyed time and time again when I’d be jerking off to a hot scene of two gorgeous boys kissing, making out, etc., and then BAM!!! with no warning or transition whatsoever, there’d be a closeup shot of a dick pumping in and out of an asshole. I always HATED that (and still do)! I wanted to SEE the transition from cock-sucking to fucking, even if it was clumsy or awkward or “boring.”

For me, having a sense of a scene’s CONTEXT is at least half the thrill of watching porn! I want to know about the performers’ backgrounds and personalities. Is it a model’s first time appearing in a porno? Is one of the models an actual straight boy, doing his first gay scene because he’s broke and desperately needs the money? Is one of the models a “top” who’s been offered a little extra cash to “bottom” for the first time? Are the models in a scene actually boyfriends in real life, or are they total strangers, meeting one another for the first time just moments before the cameras start rolling?

I also want to feel like I’m really THERE watching an actual porn-shoot, not some glossy, tightly-edited “fantasy.” Again, it’s the REALITY and PSYCHOLOGY of porn that excites me, the voyeuristic thrill in the fact that real people are consciously having sex in front of a camera, taking directions from the producer, pausing for breaks between “takes,” etc., etc.

I always feel a little cheated when a video has too many “cuts.” I *WANT* to see every raw, spontaneous, occasionally awkward, sometimes clumsy, frequently hilarious behind-the-scenes moment of a video-shoot. That’s why I was so addicted to Cocodorm‘s 24/7 cameras, live nightly shows, and “Real World”-style porn, and why I love so much of the amateur stuff sold by AMVC, and why I’m trying my best to make this a blog that will enhance people’s enjoyment of my videos with its exclusive behind-the-scenes content.

That’s also why I think most of my own videos will only feature one or two scenes. I know this format will probably bore a lot of guys to tears, but I honestly don’t think I could do it any other way.

If you’ve seen any of my first three videos, you already know that I like to take my time 😉 . I try to let my viewers get to know my models by interviewing them before the “action” parts of their scenes begin. I feel like getting a sense of a guy’s personality, interests, erotic exploits, sexual likes and dislikes, etc., helps build anticipation and makes it ten times more exciting when we see him strip out of his clothes and perform for his first time ever on camera! I also like to savor every moment, trying my best to capture it from the hottest angles possible. As a result, I usually end up with a good three or more hours of footage for every scene I film.

Take the scene I filmed with Shyne and Dragon last Wednesday, for example. They were at my place filming off-and-on for over three hours, and for most of that time the camera was running. Now I could cut out the part where they meet each other for the very first time (I literally had my camera shoved in Dragon’s face as he walked through my front door!)….or their awkward, nervous interaction while I interviewed them both side by side….or the dozens of hilarious and entertaining comments made by both boys as their way of dealing with the range of emotions throughout their first porn-shoot (and first sexual encounter with each other). I could cut all that out and trim the footage down to a simple, straightforward 20-minute scene, but in my opinion such a scene wouldn’t come anywhere CLOSE to being as hot and memorable as the longer, leisurely, minimally-edited version.

At first glance it might seem unfair to charge $20 for a DVD containing just one or two scenes, but I’m hoping there are enough guys out there who will appreciate the relaxed pacing and intimate, documentary-style feel of my movies. I’m trying as hard as possible to make viewers feel like they’re right there in that little apartment with me and the models, enjoying a front-row seat to a live amateur porn-shoot. When one looks at it like that, I hope the $20 seems worth it.

I’m curious to hear what others think about one-or-two-scene videos. Feel free to post your comments, or email me any time at BlackBoyAddictionz@gmail.com.

From “Preacher’s Kid” To Pornographer….

Posted by Michael on June 2nd, 2008

A fan of my videos recently asked:

Can I ask what made you want to get into this. Money, or just the love of hot guys and filming?

Well, it’s definitely not the money! If money was my primary motivation, I probably would have already quit by now. It will probably be a very long time before I gain enough exposure, produce enough videos, and establish enough of a loyal customer-base to make any kind of profit off my videos. ESPECIALLY if I want to make more “straight-seduction/gay-for-pay” videos like Every Straight Thug Has A Price. I spent so much money to make that video happen that I’ll probably be in a NURSING HOME before I ever make a profit off of it 😛 !!!

Of course it would be NICE to get a steady flow of cash coming in, but only because that will make it possible to produce more videos.

From a very early age, I’ve just always been a very sexual person, and there’s always been an intense voyeuristic aspect to my sexuality.

Not to get too psychoanalytical or anything, but I’m sure a big part of that was due to the fact that I was a “preacher’s kid,” and raised in a very religious, sexually repressive household.

When I was as young as eight or nine, every Sunday I’d obsessively scour the pages of that week’s “TV Guide,” eagerly seeking out anything that might feature nudity or sexual content. Sometimes the “TV Guide” descriptions alone were enough to stimulate my horny prepubescent imagination. But when I was feeling ESPECIALLY daring, I’d set the VCR timer for whatever naughty flick was on at 2 a.m., and then secretly watch it the next time I was lucky enough to have the living room to myself 😉 .

I also remember accidentally walking in on this cute little black girl from my preschool class when she was naked and sitting on the toilet….and that thrilling image of her naked brown bottom accompanied my very first experimentations with masturbation.

That fascination with nudity and anything sexual….especially as a forbidden spectator….only intensified as I got older.

One of my favorite fantasies was to imagine the hottest of my junior-high schoolmates (because I grew up in poor, inner-city neighborhoods, it just so happened that most of them were black 😉 ) standing side-by-side, fully-clothed, in an empty room. I think the gist of the fantasy was that on any given day I could pick out any one of them for my sexual pleasure.

“Raymond” – I’d call out the name of the cute, skinny boy with the light-brown skin who sat next to me in homeroom. He’d step forward. Then I’d instruct him to slowly remove his socks, then his shirt, then his pants, etc., etc., until his naked body was totally revealed.

Of course for the longest time I wasn’t quite sure what to do with him after that, LOL. But it’s funny when I think back on it now, to realize how even as a kid I was imagining myself as a porn director, years before I’d ever see my first porn video!

Of course when I discovered that such a thing as “pornography” existed, my horny imagination went crazy! My little brother and I shared a room, and sometimes he would come out of the shower and do a little strip-tease as he pulled down the towel around his waist. Then he’d jump on the bed and begin wildly humping his pillow (I think he might have seen a real porn video before I did, LOL), while I would jokingly coach him and pretend like I was filming the whole thing with an imaginary camera.

So yeah….I think it’s fair to conclude that this is something I’ve always fantasized about doing 🙂 .

I actually came very close to making a porn video back in college. It started out as a late-night conversation, joking with my gay roommate, but the more we talked about it, the more we wanted to do it. We even started drafting a script, planning out possible locations for filming, and sent out an “invitation” email to everyone in our circle of gay friends that we thought were cute and open-minded enough to participate. Sadly, I got cold feet at the last minute, and it never ended up happening.

But it’s always been one of those intense nagging fantasies that has stayed with me over the years. When I discovered AMVC.com close to ten years ago, I knew that they would probably be the most affordable and practical way for me to start a porn company, should I ever find the time, money, and courage to pursue it.

A few months ago, I had a little extra money, and a couple friends who encouraged me to try it….

….and now my dick and balls are staring everybody in the face on AMVC’s homepage 😉 !