The REAL “Dark Side” of Gay Porn

I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to share a reply to my recent post defending the many “good” people working in the porn industry today. Many of you brought up some very interesting and thought-provoking points, and it’s such a refreshing change of pace to see an intelligent and civil conversation taking place about such a complex and controversial topic.

HarlemBrotha’s comment summed it up perfectly and really gets at the heart of the matter, in my opinion. The real issue here is that sexual desire and pornography, and to an even greater extent GAY sexuality and GAY pornography, are still repressed and severely stigmatized by mainstream society and it’s these anti-porn and anti-gay attitudes that create the REAL “dark side” of gay adult entertainment.

I have witnessed firsthand the ridicule, mockery, harassment, judgment, and even threats of violence suffered by porn performers, in many cases by their own so-called “fans” and GAY PEERS, and this ignorant behavior has caused more emotional damage and psychological harm than a dozen “sleazy” producers combined ever could.

When this anti-porn, anti-gay climate drives individuals to the desperate extreme of inflicting violent harm on themselves or others, it’s a hell of a lot easier to blame the “evil” producer than look in the mirror at the ignorance, harassment, and in some cases downright hostility and threats against these young men from their own families, friends, churches, and neighborhoods.

In the past, I’ve used the analogy of a hate crime. If a gay person gets beaten up or even killed as part of a hate crime by people who see that person leaving a gay club late at night, we wouldn’t blame the VICTIM for being gay, or the owner of the gay bar for providing a safe space for community and self-expression. The blame lies solely with the homophobic assholes who chose to gay-bash an innocent person.

In the same way, pornography itself is not the enemy here, but rather the pervasive ignorance and homophobia that even in the year 2016 makes parents disown their own children, casually condones and even celebrates violence against GLBT people, and breeds so much fear, insecurity, and self-hatred in so many young black men in particular that some feel driven to the extreme of either killing themselves or others when they are exposed.

I hate to paraphrase the popular NRA slogan, but the truth is that porn doesn’t destroy lives, PEOPLE do. And if you truly care about the well-being of your favorite “porn stars,” stop ridiculing them on social media or when you see them out at the clubs, quit exposing them to their friends and family when you see somebody you know, and most importantly, start speaking up to challenge the hypocritical “slut-shaming” and homophobia in your own communities.

The more normalized and accepted that homosexuality and pornography becomes in society, the fewer suicides, overdoses, and tragic murders we’ll have to read about involving “porn stars” and producers.

Like I suggested near the end of my previous post, I strongly suspect that most of the people spewing so much venom at porn producers and belittling performers as “sluts” and “whores” are merely exposing their own guilt and self-hatred when it comes to their viewing of porn, and likely shame about their sexuality as well.

I’ve been there and I can certainly relate to a certain extent. In my late teens and early twenties when I first began watching porn and coming to terms with my sexuality, my porn habits followed an almost comically predictable pattern where I would save up money to purchase a bunch of adult videos and DVD’s, binge-watch them for literally hours at a time over the course of two or three days, then become overwhelmed with shame and regret to the point that I would toss all of them into a large trash bag and throw them in the dumpster. I think this disturbing trend of bashing porn producers and models on social media is a 21st-century version of this – porn viewers (usually religious) projecting their own guilt and self-loathing onto the people creating a form of entertainment they’re deeply conflicted about.

Only if and when we can agree that adult entertainment starring CONSENTING ADULTS is a legitimate and even respectable form of entertainment and creative expression – maybe not “art” but certainly on the same level as a game show or “reality TV” – will we be able to have a rational, constructive conversation among producers, models, and consumers about the kinds of ethical standards and guidelines we should expect and demand from the industry overall. And that’s an interesting and important conversation worth having!

Let me be clear, I’m not trying to sugarcoat things or bury my head in the sand when it comes to dishonest and abusive behavior by recruiters, promoters, producers, or anyone else involved in the adult industry. I understand that these people are out there and that the stereotype of the “sleazy” producer didn’t come out of nowhere. But I’ve also grown tired of seeing an industry I’ve loved for many years, first as a consumer and now as a producer, constantly maligned and attacked without evidence or proof, and in most cases by people who obviously don’t have a clue what they’re talking about.

By sharing my own unique point of view as both a consumer AND producer, I hope to add another perspective to the conversation and hopefully show that producers are human too and while far from perfect, most of us are decent people just trying to create quality entertainment and do things the right way, not the stereotype of the greedy, soulless “porn pimp” being spread on certain porn blogs and a popular piracy site.